The Desert Island Sex Position Can Spice Things Up & Heighten Emotional Connection

No matter how strong your marriage is, no matter how much you love your partner, no matter how satisfied you feel 99% of the time, there are gonna be days where you feel like shaking things up in the bedroom. Some days, the thought of the old standard just isn’t enough to get things going. Some days, you might just be in the mood to surprise your lover with a few new tricks.

But listen, we’re all busy moms, who know the feeling of having all the right intentions for sexy time at the beginning of the day, and then being totally exhausted when it comes time to hit the sheets. On those days, you don’t necessarily have the energy to bring out the heavy artillery, new sex positions should be your go-to.

Trying new sex positions can be super exciting for both partners, but it doesn’t necessarily involve any more work or effort than the usual. And trust us, there are endless positions to try. We’re no experts though, that’s why we turned to sex expert, Aliyah Moore of SexualAlpha.com to find out what some of her favorite sexual positions for increased intimacy (and fun!) are. Here, she shares everything you need to know about the “Desert Island” sex position. No, we’d never heard of it either, but now that we have, it’s definitely going into the repertoire.

More from CafeMom: 12 Sex Positions That Really Hit ‘The Spot’

What Exactly Is It?

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During the “Desert Island” sex position, the woman rises on her tiptoes while bending her knees to lower herself onto her partner who is kneeling behind her. The female partner could also get on her knees on a chair, grab the back of the chair with her hands and try to keep her upper body as straight as possible.

This posture is unlike other positions in terms of its physical dynamics because it requires both partners to hold balance and use coordination. Aside from that, it is also an excellent medium of intimate contact because it involves close physical touch and deep penetration that can heighten the emotional connection between partners.

Execution

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The female partner begins by squatting on her tippy toes, slowly lowering herself onto her partner. She uses her hands only to maintain balance and the correct sitting position.

On the other hand, the male partner kneels directly behind the female, with his hands placed on her hips for support. Once both partners are in position, the male partner enters his lover.

The male partner thrusts forward in a rocking motion while the female reciprocates with her hips moving up and down, pushing herself onto her partner, thus stimulating herself and bringing both partners to a more heightened orgasmic state.

More from CafeMom: 14 Sex Positions Married Couples Should Try at Least Once

Benefits

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Deep Penetration: The position enables you to go really deep, which may sound strange but remember the target of the mission is to stimulate nerves in the vagina and provide pleasure for both of you.

Clitoral Stimulation: The up-and-down motion can be used to stimulate the clitoris indirectly, which is very important when it comes to some women achieving orgasm.

Muscle Engagement: Balancing on the balls of one’s feet, squatting and bouncing fires up the muscles of the thighs, buttocks, and pelvic floor, and strengthens these muscles in different positions to improve their endurance and toning.

Increased Intimacy: The partner’s body becomes the place to revel in this closeness, while their eyes take part in this bonding process during sex.

Mutual Satisfaction: The synchronous stimulation of both partners’ erotic areas can produce in both the feeling of deep mutual satisfaction as well as closeness.

Communication and Trust: Being on the “Desert Island” gets the adrenaline flowing and leads to better relationships with trust and consent, which may be reinforcing for the emotions between couples.

Sex Toys to Include

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Vibrating Cock Rings: The rings can be worn by the male partner and, as a result, the clitoris and penis can experience additional stimulation during penetration. Vibration stimulation has a unique way of intensifying the sensation of pleasure for both partners, and thereby it can enhance the orgasms of both partners.

Bullet Vibrators: These tiny, inconspicuous vibrators can be used to stimulate the clitoris in those who are in the advanced stages of pregnancy, when the belly can prevent closer contact. The male partner can hold the bullet vibrator against her clitoris or other erogenous zones to increase arousal and pleasure.

Anal Plug: An anal plug may add an additional level of pleasure and stimulation to the “Desert Island” position and may especially be helpful for those couples who are keen to delve into the different dimensions of anal play. The anal plug can be used by the female partner during the penetration for more sensations and pleasure by stimulating the nerve endings in the anus.

Safety Considerations

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Communication: Open and genuine communication between partners is definitely important when you want to try any new sexual position. Talk about what feels comfortable to you, what you like and don’t like and set boundaries if needed.

Physical Limitations: Keep in mind that any physical disabilities or health conditions should have an impact on the ease of your ability to perform such a position. People who have any knee, hip, or back pain problems might struggle or find squatting and kneeling down painful.

Balance and Stability: The notion of “Desert Island” assumes the inclination of both participants to the balance and stability of the position, and particularly to the female partner. Be sure to remain well balanced so you don’t fall. In addition, use pillows or furniture for support, as needed.

Penetration Depth: Pay attention to the depth of the penetration so it doesn’t cause pain or discomfort. Allow your partner to feel comfortable (and therefore, steal the show) by addressing the issue of penetration that is equally pleasurable for both of you. Don’t jump in fast, but rather adapt gradually, and eventually you will find the right pace and depth.

Safe Sex Practices: Safely practicing sex involves using condoms or other barriers, that help prevent transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and unintended conceptions. Additionally, if you are using sex toys, make sure that you clean them and disinfect them before you use them and after you have used them.

Lubrication: Although it may seem too obvious, good lubrication is the one key component that can contribute to a comfortable and pleasurable experience, mainly when penetration is involved. Water-based or silicone-based lubricants are recommended for friction reduction and better feel. Reapply lubricant as needed.

Awareness of Surroundings: Remember to pay attention to where you are and the surrounding area and only have sex in a comfortable and safe environment. Take care that there are no sharp objects or hazards nearby so that no one is in danger of any harm while the “Desert Island” position is being performed.

More Tips

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Experimentation: The “Desert Island” sex position is a great one, but sometimes you have to experiment with its variations to discover those that work best for you and your partner. There are numerous positions which you can try for example, angling the entrance, adjusting the depth of penetration, squatting, etc., that will enhance pleasure and satisfaction.

Breathing and Relaxation: Concentrate on breathing deeply and deeply relaxing during the “Desert Island” position. A good sensual massage beforehand can help you relax, and amplifies pleasure and eases tension, making it possible for you to thoroughly enjoy this sex position.

Foreplay: Incorporate lots of foreplay prior to trying the “Desert Island” position, which helps to increase arousal and make things seem more intensely exciting. Foreplay can include caressing, kissing, and oral sex.

Posture and Alignment: Remember your posture and the alignment of your body in the “Desert Island” sex position by avoiding positions that make you feel uncomfortable and strained. Take care to keep your spine straight and your core tightened in order to gain a natural body posture.

After: After separating in the “Desert Island” position, seek time to indulge in aftercare so you can reconnect with your partner. Through the familiar embrace, verbal communication, and the constant acknowledgment of each other’s happiness, you can strengthen emotional intimacy and satisfaction in relationships.

Feedback: Give your partner feedback before and after the experience, focusing on communication and ways to make your sex life better and more enjoyable. Share what you liked and recommend areas for improvement to make sure everyone is happy.

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